Trying to Conceive: A New Year's Resolution
by veronica wilson
Sister: Tries for 5 seconds. Pregnant with baby #1. Plans Baby #2 2 years later- and here he is.
Best Friend: “Im going to start trying!” First cycle she misses her period. Before you know it you are scrounging up baby shower decorations from friends and sending out e-vites…
Stranger on Instagram: We’re pregnant with TWINS! #twinningiswining (announces 3 months after destination wedding)
You: It’s been months. Years… I stopped counting.
Sound familiar? Well girl…you are NOT alone. For some reason, TTC is rarely talked about in this weird culture we live in that idolizes creative pregnancy announcements on instagram and elaborate gender reveal parties IRL (not sure about you, but I’m completely over that white frosted cake with blue or pink sprinkles trend…its tired…I’m tired…). So what about my fellow sisters that have been “trying” to conceive? Where are their voices?
There’s one thing I can tell you for certain (and you know this if you have been struggling to make a baby for quite sometime)… When you are TTC, there is no space for you to talk about your personal journey. Anywhere. Albeit a few long-winded message boards on GLOW with message subject lines like “After seven years we finally have our rainbow baby!”
And don’t we all know- when you are struggling to make a baby- that’s when all the questions start flying at you from left field, “Are you guys gonna have kids?” “Well have you considered adoption?!” “Have you been using ovulation sticks?” Let’s be real…we’ve heard them all at this point. And we buy ovulation sticks on amazon. IN BULK. EVERY month…
It makes me sad. There isn’t really a safe space for women who are TTC. Emotional or physical. Do we bring it upon ourselves? It is possible. There is a great deal of shame that goes along with not being able to make a baby. Does our culture provoke only happy exchanges via social networking platforms that display class + rank? Absolutely. Are we shy to talk about our real, true, authentic struggles? Yep. I guess It’s only human.
So…where do we go from here? And how do we, as women who are TTC, not feel so isolated? I believe it starts from within, by making solid, unbreakable promises to yourself. Because you are pretty rad. You are a woman, after all.
So here is my New Years Resolution… I hope it inspires you to dig deep within yourself to learn to be okay with this constant state of “trying”. Because girlfriend- we all need a whole hell of a lot more than “baby dust”+ Clomid.